I met someone who is really great, but “really” married. I can’t decide whether to spend time with him or not. Is it really that wrong to date someone married?
Undecided, Indianapolis, IN
Yes, it’s wrong, but that’s never stopped anyone. Dating a married man can promise an exciting life of espionage, risk and intrigue, but it also guarantees a life of problems, headaches and heartaches. Honey, let me whisper into your ear just in case you’ve been deafened by love and/or money, “Are you crazy? He’s married, attached, obliged, responsible and committed to someone whose name is not yours!” There are so many successful, sexy, fun and unattached cheaters — I mean champions — out there. Why let the leashes of love force you to bite on a bone that’s attached to an altar? Be careful.
I’ve been dating someone for almost a month now. Recently, I found out that my date has been cheating on me with someone else. Should I dump my date even though we didn’t have any monogamy agreements?
Cheated, Nashville, TN
Dating someone for “almost” a month doesn’t equal owning someone sexually for life. In the first few months of dating, try to avoid insisting — I mean asking for — eternal sexual commitment. Let it come naturally. Giving the dating process time means giving each other space, getting to know each other and getting comfortable with eventually one day committing physically and emotionally to one another. Premature assumptions and commitments of monogamy can lead to premature disaster. Darling, let your date do what he or she needs to do while you’re starting to date. Once you agree on monogamy and they cheat on you, then break some legs; I mean — break into a strong discussion about it.
Don’t you think promising someone something and then not keeping your promise is wrong and unforgivable? What should I do to someone who wrongs me?
Unforgiving, Dallas, TX
If you must do something empowering about this situation, then start by doing some soul-searching into 1) choosing better slobs to associate with who have integrity and respect, and 2) learning the rules for forgiveness, which state, “Forgiveness is all about you and your healing process, not about some other fool not keeping their promise!” Remember, pumpkin, the quicker you let things go, forgive others and move on with your life, the closer you’ll be to…shopping! (Can you say Om? If so, do it often so you can forgive more quickly, and don’t set up shop in the store for too long like my cartoon shows.)
What’s the big deal about sex? Don’t you think sex is overrated? Don’t you think sex is just sex?
Sex Quandary, Denver, CO
Hello Sex Quandary,
Well, if you have to ask these questions, then I need to ask you, “Have you ever had really great sex?” Sweetie, sex, in the grand scream — I mean scheme — of things is really no big deal, but in and of itself it can be better than — well, greater than — um let me just let you read:
Trinity’s Exciting Tips About Sex
1. Sex can excite everyone, please just a few or complicate everything.
2. Sex can be done anywhere, any place, at any time and with anyone.
3. Sex can last for under a few minutes, over a few hours or an entire day.
4. Sex is natural, sex is fun, but sex is not for everyone.
5. Sex can be done alone, with someone or with many others.
6. Sex comes naturally to some, can be taught to most and always gets easier with time.
7. Sex can please you, make you scream and/or kill you.
8. Sex is sometimes great, sometimes awful and sometimes done just for the sake of sex.
9. Sex is for animals, beasts and humans who often act like animals and beasts.
10. Lastly, safe sex can be less than, more than or better than unsafe sex. It’s all up to you!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.