Everyone except my best friend knows he’s being cheated on. Should I tell him, or should I let him find out on his own? Either way he’s in for a big hurt!
Burning Both Ends, Flint, MI
The question is not, “Do you tell him?” — but rather, “How do you help him get hurt the least?” He may become resentful towards you for telling him, thus, a) have an anonymous person tell him, b) suggest something like, “What would you do if…?,” c) make it possible for him to find out on his own or d) shut up and pray! Unfortunately, sweetie, being a friend means learning to step forward at the same time as stepping back! Good luck.
Lately, it’s been so hard appreciating what I have when I feel like my life has no meaning and should have been different or better. Trinity, what do you do when life doesn’t make sense?
A Better Life, Milwaukee, WI
Hey A Better Life,
Smart and healthy adults question their life many times throughout life. When my life stops having deep meaning, I start going out more with friends, watching comedies or taking a nice vacation which includes some wild affairs and/or adventures. Sometimes it also means changing jobs, changing careers or moving! But most importantly, pumpkin, remember that life is a banquet! (Take some tips from my cartoon and make some decisions based upon what’s on the buffet!)
With all the lies and deception I’ve been experiencing around dating, do you think it’s wrong to ask for a credit check, medical records, job résumé and/or a family genealogy chart before getting serious with someone?
Get Smart, Wilmington, DE
Hello Get Smart,
It may sound subversive and CIA-esque, but in today’s world people are so desperate to impress that special someone that their morals and wits can often get tossed into the wind…and blown right back into your face. In olden days people lived in the same communities for many generations so everyone knew everyone, but today everyone’s a stalker — I mean a stranger. Credit checks and job résumés may be too pushy, but, honey, doing some Google and Facebook investigating before falling headfirst may save you a lot of headaches later on!
Blah, blah, blah…and for the first time in my life I am having a tryst. I want it to last for as long as it can! Any advice?
Twists For Trysts, Chicago, IL
I have had my share of trysts, thank Goddess. Oh, and darling, guess what I just found?
Trinity’s Tasteful Tips For Things To Do Before A Tryst* (*a secret meeting arranged by lovers)
1. Placing yourself into the perfect frame of mind can be as simple as breathing, being playful and leaving your troubles behind!
2. Appearing “cleaned up” and perfumed “down there” promises that you’ll be all smiles during this affair!
3. Atmosphere means candles, romantic music, clean sheets and, oh yes, turning off the damn cell phone!
4. Temperature control, i.e., fans, air conditioners and heaters, make for a comfortable, longer-lasting soiree!
5. Contraceptives, massage lotion and a few fun toys should be placed inside the night table, not sitting open in an old shoebox!
6. Bubbling champagne flutes and dark chocolate truffles on a plate should be sitting on top of the nightstand, not far away in the kitchen!
7. Pre-place extra champagne and chocolates in a cool, close place!
8. Needing or wanting more and more means sooner than later they’ll be running for the door. Be patient!
9. Yet, if time is of the essence, this means be all hands, not all words!
10. Lastly, when you’re running back to work or home or to your spouse, check or get rid of clothing stains, foreign perfume smells and their message on your cell phone!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.