I’ve been married for seven years and do not have sex with my wife. I recently met a guy who is having the same experience. Is it wrong if we have sex with each other when both of us are not getting pleasure from our wives?
Just For Sex, Bombay, Marrakech
Dear Just For Sex,
Question: “If two heterosexual men have sex with each other purely for sex, then are they cheating on their wives as if they were cheating with another woman?” Answer: Yes, they’re absolutely cheating! But if you must have sex with someone other than your wife, this may be a happy/gay alternative. In some African tribes, every nine months the women send the men off to the woods to have sex with each other. When the men return they are kinder to each other and to their spouses. So never forget your responsibilities at home, and, sweetie, send me the video!
I borrowed something from my roommate and broke it. He doesn’t know I borrowed it, and I feel guilty. I don’t have the money to replace it either. Help!
A Borrowed Failure, Philadelphia, PA
Hey A Borrowed Failure,
It’s so typical not to admit a mistake especially if there are financial consequences. I’ve done it, we all do it and courthouses are filled with guilty people who also do it. Now moving forward, why not come clean with what you did and offer to make a payment plan (only after getting him a little drunk)? Listen, baby, if you ask any successful businessperson what they do when they make a mistake, they’ll tell you they admit it and deal with the consequences…well, most of the time! (When you take a look at my cartoon you can sure see how this can make one dizzy and confused and wanting and/or needing to make a decison.)
It seems like after the first night of sex or the first big fight whoever I’m dating just stops being interested. Either I’m dating than alone or just alone trying to find a date. This dating thing never seems to work out. I’m ready to give up.
Tired O’the Game, Des Moines, IA
Hello Tired O’the Game,
You’re right! Dating is painful, awful and not worth it. Giving up, not trying, not taking chances and not living life is surely a possibility for some, but rethinking, reworking and reinventing the situation and yourself works wonders for Lady Gaga and the rest of us, who “Never, never, never give up,” a quote from Winston Churchill. This means erasing your negative head voice about everything that’s wrong with dating after each scenario or situation concludes and try, try again…but differently. Remember, pumpkin, when you stop trying you start dying and the dying process is way more uncomfortable than dating.
A friend of a friend told me that you had dinner with Margaret Cho. Well what was she like?
Cho Fan, Provincetown, MA
Dearest Cho Fan,
Yup, I dined with the “Notorious Cho.” She was very polite and kind. Actually, honey, I learned so much that I decided to write:
What Trinity Learned From Dining Out With Margaret Cho
1. Always be nice to anyone who says hello.
2. Stop and take pictures with anyone who asks for a picture with you.
3. When you have to change your plans give plenty of warning.
4. When the waiter gets star struck don’t say anything to hurt his or her feelings, just be polite!
5. If the chef sends over a complimentary piece of cake, at least eat a bite even if you don’t want to.
6. And you don’t have to eat everything you ordered.
7. Work hard and enjoy your life in between shows!
8. Talking about “pussy” is better done on stage.
9. Say “yes” as often as you can!
10. Lastly, always stop to appreciate drag queens, for they are the core of many wonderful things.
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.