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Is fear of rejection stopping you?

Tell Trinity

Hello Trinity,
Being single is OK, but sometimes it seems so much easier to stay home than to go out just to be ignored. And when I do date, it only lasts a short while anyway. Rejection sucks, so why bother?
Rejecting Rejection, Boulder, CO

Hello Rejection,
Sure, rejection sucks compared to acceptance. You remember acceptance? That promise of love and the moon, until one day you get a rejection letter, text or email leaving you devastated yet again. Well, newsflash! Rejection has nothing to do with you, but rather with what someone fantasizes about you. Someone’s acceptance, rejection or reality of you is not, never was and never will be about you, but rather about their own rules and regulations. If you’re someone’s “type” you’re in, period, if not, you’re out, end of game. So, honey, get out and live a rejectionless life. It’s about playing with rejection not fearing it!

Hey Trinity,
How did you learn everything you know?
Tell Me More, Salt Lake City, UT

Hey Tell Me More,
Besides living in eight U.S. states plus Germany and Canada, studying for two Masters degrees and knowing when to go to bed at night, I always follow four simple rules: 1) listen with an open ear, 2) be adventurous, 3) spend time with interesting people and 4) darling, keep saying “yes!” (My cartoon shows you how I approach life and how I apply some simple rules to it.)

Dear Trinity,
I was dating someone whom I caught stealing money from me. I’m trying to move on, but I just can’t get rid of the anger. Any ideas?
Releasing The Fool, Toledo, OH

Dear Releasing,
It’s not easy, but you must try a little every day to move on. Here’s a trick. In your head, imagine a flat-color picture of him or her, then change it to black and white, then let it get blurry and, lastly, let it fade into the distance until it disappears. It could be a headshot or their entire body lying in a coffin…(I didn’t say that). What typically happens with NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming is that their image becomes distant and unclear in your head and eventually in your heart. Oh, and next time, pumpkin, hide your money in a stash can! Good luck.

Dearest Trinity,
Why on earth would a couple have an open relationship if there’s nothing really wrong?
Why Open, Portland, OR

Dearest Why Open,
Yes, “if it’s not broken don’t fix it,” but, sweetie, if it’s boring, stale or in trouble, why not fix a martini and read:

Trinity’s Thought Provoking Tips For Why And Why Not To Have An Open Relationship
Why have an open relationship?
1. Because it may only take a few encounters to put the sexual spark back into your relationship.
2. Because you’ve been with the same nonsexual slob for years now, and it’s time to spice up the soup or…toss it out.
3. Because you’re incredible together except sexually, and this may introduce you to new positions, I mean possibilities for being even more together.
4. Because you’ve tried everything else to please each other, like food and fetish toys, and this may be wonderful.
5. Because your spouse keeps pushing you to do it, and instead of spending time at a lawyer’s office filing for divorce, why not spend time in bed trying something new?
Why not have an open relationship?
6. Because it’s just one more thing getting in the way of the lack of sex drive in your relationship.
7. Because you just want to be single anyway, so you’d be wasting everyone’s time making believe you really want this relationship.
8. Because it may destroy your relationship altogether.
9. Because someone may just get emotionally hurt or destroyed.
10. Because you might as well just break up, count your losses and start a relationship with someone who wants to have sex with just you.

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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