My partner often shows displeasure with me by closing off all communication for a few days with the “silent treatment.” But then I feel horrible and abused. Any help would be appreciated!
Closed Off, San Diego, CA
Dearest Closed Off,
Don’t you just hate that? It’s so unclear, and wastes so much time. Let’s try this, honey. When you’re both getting along, suggest a game for the times when “we’re” not getting along. In this game, “I give three words describing how I feel, and you do the same.” This way your partner gets to practice letting it out, and you get to wonder…if being single wouldn’t be easier!
My four-year relationship needs a sex overhaul, or we won’t make it to year five. I am thinking of an open relationship. What do you think?
Open Season, Raleigh, NC
Dear Open Season,
I think it’s smart to try anything and everything to make a relationship work sexually before throwing in the hand towel. But, darling, just like relationships need rules, so do open relationships, like: no falling in love, no unsafe sex, no bringing someone home and no sleeping out all night. Otherwise you could end up in very dangerous water (beds). (Take a look at my “adventurous” cartoon, and consider what it might look like if you were to become engaged in a more open relationship. Just make sure that everyone is on the same page, or at least, meet at the table to go over ground rules, sweetie!)
I met someone Friday night and spent the weekend with him. Three days later he wants me to meet his friends and family. It’s so fast. Should I say, “Wait a while?”
Hurry Date, Albany, NY
Hey Hurry Date,
Meeting “the friends and family” of someone you just met is absolutely fast and sometimes a sign that he or she may lose interest equally as fast. However, pumpkin, some people know what they want right away, and if you feel good about this person, then what the hell, why not meet your future relatives or ex-relatives early? But ask to be introduced as a friend to make things lighter. Remember, dating’s a “game” you play, even if the rules don’t always make sense!
After two years, my girlfriend dumped me to go back to school. Now I can’t get over her and everything we had. Any suggestions on getting her out of my mind?
Losing My Mind, New York, NY
Hello Losing My Mind,
Before you get suicidal, sweetie, mix yourself a martini (or power smoothie) and start reading:
Trinity’s Sane Tips For What It’s Time To Stop Doing After You’ve Just Broken Up
1. It’s time to stop watching home videos of the two of “us” and start “washing that (wo)man right out of your head!”
2. It’s time to stop daydreaming about what you could have done differently and start thinking about what you will do differently now that you’re free.
3. It’s time to stop calling her friends to see if she’s still single and start making new friends who will keep you dating!
4. It’s time to stop thinking about revenge and start thinking about Saturday night rendezvous.
5. It’s time to stop accidentally passing by his workplace and start purposely passing by new places with new people to meet.
6. It’s time to stop cooking the same meals she loved and start trying new recipes for you and your new dates.
7. It’s time to stop looking the way he always liked you to look and start your new life with a fabulous makeover (seriously)!
8. It’s time to stop playing her voice messages just to hear her voice one more time. For God’s sake, erase those messages already!
9. It’s time to stop listening to “our” favorite songs and start listening to upbeat songs like, “I Will Survive,” “I’m A Survivor” and “No More Drama!”
10. And, lastly, it’s time to stop living with him, paying his bills and feeding his dog and start moving out as soon as possible, please!
info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.