The girlfriend, the daughter, the relationship & the father

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
I came out last year in my first lesbian relationship. Next month my girlfriend and I plan to move to another state because of her job. However, I have a three-year-old daughter whose father is active in her life. Now, if I move he wants custody. Help?
Daddy’s Little Girl, Virginia Beach, VA

Dear DLG,
For gay custody/legal disputes Google the Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund. I worked for them in college. Now since this is about taking your daughter away, I must ask, “Is the father the real troublemaker or is it your girlfriend who wants to move?” Being raised by two families is hard but in two states…please! Who gets your daughter or who gets a long-distance relationship is the issue. Honey, someone has to bend cupid’s arrow a little! Get your girlfriend a local job, and tell her if she loves you she has to stay before you end up childless!

Hello Trinity,
So many people today want to be single. But I’ve been with my partner for nine years and it’s as good as day one. Don’t you think a lasting, loving relationship is healthier than being single?
Marriage Minded, Albuquerque, NM

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Hello Marriage Minded,
Yes, I remember reading a study that said couples live longer. Maybe it’s related to housework? But, sweetie, not all relationships are healthy like yours, and single life does have many adventures that may not be healthy but fun! (Hey, I remember what it’s like to be single, as well as coupled. Single was like flies to honey, I attracted some very suitable suitors! Take a look at my cartoon for how I spend my time thinking of the past or a possible future.)

Hey Trinity,
I’m 25 and have been living with my boyfriend for eight months. He’s a hard-working homeowner. However, he’s 29, and when I want to get my freak on with him he’s not interested. I love him, but I have needs!
Sexually Frustrated, Charlotte, NC

Hey SF,
Being tired and sexually excited rarely go hand in fist. So, start by acting and dressing sexier without being too aggressive and add some wine with dinner. Once he’s loosened up, let’s see what happens. And, lastly, take vacations. Couples do it to help their sex life. It’s the rule. Baby, you may have to work as hard as him to “get his freak on!” Good luck.

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Dearest Trinity,
I just started dating someone really great. This time I promised myself I was going to be the best boyfriend ever. Any ideas for keeping my promise?
Mr. Best Ever, Denver, CO

Dearest Mr. Best Ever,
To keep promises or declarations one has to make a business plan and stick to it. Even when you fail, which you may, you must get right back up and stick to it again. So, pumpkin, to keep you on track here are:

Trinity’s Tough Declarations For Being An Excellent Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
1. Commitment: I promise to not date, sleep with or search the Internet for anyone other than my boy/girlfriend.
2. Compromise: I promise to not “throw in the towel” whenever we have a problem.
3. Resiliency: I promise to make time, dinner and endless attempts towards making my relationship healthy and lasting.
4. Adventure: I promise to continually try new things that will make me a better boy/girlfriend: intellectually, emotionally and sexually.
5. Intrigue: I promise to keep a little mystery about myself, as well as push myself toward being interesting, exciting and fun.
6. Romance: I promise to be affectionate, charitable and romantic, as well as help with the chores.
7. Control: I promise never to be smothering, insecure or controlling.
8. Communication: I promise to always listen and communicate my feelings, yet keep some problems to myself so as not to burden the relationship.
9. Change: I promise to change bad habits, work on deep-seated issues and not make my mate my therapist.
10. Lastly, Responsibility: I promise to take responsibility for my actions, not blame anyone for being themselves and to compromise…till it kills me!

info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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