I broke up with my ex about two years ago. Now he wants to get back together again, but it’s always just to see if the relationship will work this time. Should I give him another chance?
One More Go, Utica, NY
If you have a chance to make a bad thing worse, then run, but if you have a chance to make a bad thing better, then yes, taking chances is what life’s all about! However, baby, don’t harp on past things, and don’t move in together right away. This is about a new start, not an old fight! This time insist on outside counseling, on talking through everything and on taking your time. Remember, a good man is hard to find, but a bad relationship is so unkind!
I broke up with my girlfriend only to come home to find that she moved out and took everything. I loved her, but now I hate her. I’m in court to get my stuff back, but Trinity, why do relationships always have to end so cruelly?
Love Hurts, Phoenix, AZ
Hello Love Hurts,
Sometimes a loved one thinks he or she deserves it all, needs to make you pay for it all or is just a downright crook and steals it all. It happens on reality shows all the time. So try to get your things back, try to get some peace of mind and, honey, try to accept that sometimes “love” gives and sometimes love takes away! See my cartoon below to see how I would deal with such a difficult situation. Lots of “stuff” can be replaced (although expensive in nature), but remember, sweetie, to hold on to the one thing you have that can’t be taken away while you are not at home — and that’s your self-esteem.
Good Luck, Trinity
I’m a 44-year-old guy dating a 27-year-old guy. I always end up paying for dinner, but I’m afraid he’ll think because I’m older this is how it should always be. How do I not create a pattern?
Setting Young Patterns, Minneapolis, MN
The fact is, when two people meet, immediately patterns begin to form depending on who’s cuter, older, pushier or more addictive. It’s natural. Now, sweetie, if one is older and/or financially better off — then why not pay? After a few dates, pick an inexpensive place and hopefully he’ll say, “I’ll get this one.” By gently supporting him by picking an affordable place he can pay for now, and then you’ll create a healthier balance. In my mind, older and/ or wealthier men should pay for (much) younger men; it’s nature’s way of keeping everyone well fed.
I’m gay, bearded and I have a belly. How do I know if that makes me a “bear?”
Thanks, Bearly Sure, Atlanta, GA
Hey Bearly Sure,
There are many ways to know if you’re a bear. So, pumpkin, to start you off on
the right paw here’s:
Trinity’s Hairy Tips For Knowing If (YAB) You’re A Bear (gay-bearded hefty man)
1. If you have a hairy face, chest, butt and/or back (YAB).
2. If you have girth, a belly or if you look like a childbearing man, then (YAB).
3. If you and all your friends look like the wrestler Bill Goldberg or variations of a cute Santa Claus (YAB) and should email me!
4. If you have a thick goatee, a sculpted beard or a full beard, then (YAB).
5. If you hang out in gay bars called The Jackhammer, The Stud or The Thump, then (YAB)!
6. If most of your shirts have some sort of reference to bears, bear paws or hibernation, then guess what.
7. If most of your other clothes consist of leather, western or army wear, then guess what again.
8. If you use the words “woof” or “grrrr” at least once a week, then (YAB).
9. If you’re “big-boned” and gay and haven’t dieted in y-e-a-r-s, then (YAB).
10. And lastly, if you shave your entire face but still feel like a hairy, hefty, man-loving man, then (YAB)!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.