Fetishism 101

Tell Trinity

Dearest Trinity,
My ex was into the fetish scene and now, two years later, I’m beginning to find it very interesting myself. Any advice for first timers?
Thanks, Baby’s First Straps, Raleigh, NC

Dearest Baby’s First Straps,
For many people the word “fetish” itself is dirty and dangerous. So, I won’t lie and say breath control or public flogging doesn’t make me squirmy. But I will say uniform and facial hair fetishes do make me smile. When it comes to newfound activities, some jump in headfirst, and some take their time. Either way, keep an eye on your addictive nature and remember to have safe boundaries. Also, sweetie, fetish accoutrements can be very expensive, so be thrifty at first because they may end up in a storage bin when you’ve moved on to fan dancing or political activism!

Hello Trinity,
For years I’ve hung out with many gay couples that have happy non-monogamous relationships. Now my new partner insists on monogamy. But I come from a very different world. If I don’t tell him the little, not-so-faithful things I do, like chatting on an app or talking to guys on the street, then am I still a criminal?
Crimes Of Passion, LA, CA

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Hello Crimes Of Passion,
It seems like today everyone’s doing something wrong, i.e., looking at or talking to someone you shouldn’t be, flirting with or even sleeping with someone you shouldn’t be. While many laws and rules seem to be set in stone, there are also times you find yourself cracking those rules. So, darling, no, you’re not a criminal…as long as you try to communicate as much as you can, and when you can’t, keep good secrets…I mean boundaries. (Check out my cartoon to see how I “judge” the whole issue. Verdict in?)
Wink, wink, Trinity

Dear Trinity,
I’m a good-looking guy, and I don’t like getting drunk, but I have an easier time meeting people if I have a few drinks first. Unfortunately, I get drunk easily. I don’t have a drinking problem as much as I have a problem being sober and friendly.
Yours, Two Too Many, Montreal, QC

Dear Two Too Many,
Why can so many gorgeous guys lift their own weight at the gym, but not muster up enough courage to start a conversation? Sure, have a drink or two, but have a water or soda between drinks so four drinks equal two with alcohol. But either way, pumpkin, start trying to spend more time facing your shyness and fear of rejection and less time avoiding getting drunk.
Lots of Love, Trinity

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Hey Trinity,
It’s been a month since I stopped dating my girlfriend. I ignore her calls, blocked her emails and unfriended her on FB, but I’m afraid I’ll still see her out at the clubs. How do I avoid her and having to talk to her?
Out Of Sight, Minneapolis, MN

Hey Out Of Sight,
I know it’s easier to avoid someone than face them, but, honey, it’s unkind, unnecessary and inhumane. There’s a popular word called “communication!” It keeps countries connected, businesses thriving and relationships together, as well as ending one in a mature, kind and responsible way. I’m afraid I can’t support your avoidance. But if you truly have no fingers to type or mouth to speak, then copy and send this letter instead.

I’m NOT COMMUNICATING with you because:
1. My heart gets too scared when I’m with you.
2. I don’t believe you care about me or us. (circle one or both)
3. What’s the point? We are from different worlds!
4. The timing is no good for us right now!
5. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m in prison doing time.
6. Who do you think you are?
7. You’re a looser.
8. I’m not interested in you at all!
9. You’re too old, young, stubborn or drunk for me. (circle one or more)
10. Other

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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