I’m not becoming a priest, but I thought I’d try celibacy. Do you think it’s a good idea?
The C. Word, Annapolis, MD
Hey, The C. Word,
Sure, taking a break from sex and self-manipulation saves your chi, makes you more creative and makes you hungrier for meeting someone special. It can also be smart to take a sex break after a bad relationship. But if you’re going to go celibate because you’re tired of anonymous sex or dating losers, then try again. Celibacy is for people of “the cloth” or people dealing with sex and intimacy addiction. That’s it. So, pumpkin, before strapping on a chastity belt, first reflect deeply on why you need to do this, and deal with that/those issues first.
Kisses, hugs and handshakes, Trinity
After a breakup, a job loss and an eviction notice, I’m hitting bottom. I’m always depressed and never have energy. Any advice?
Sincerely, Bottomed Out, Nashville, TN
Dear Bottomed Out,
You should naturally feel sad for a couple days or a week, but then it’s time to fight back. Besides calling all your friends or searching the Internet, as well as newspapers, for help to find a lover, a job and a room to rent, try oversleeping, exercising, dieting and taking a little trip away. Staying active, honey, is the only way to beat depression. Remember, busy people rarely have time to be depressed! Bored folks are always depressed. (My four-point program to dealing with this whole mess — I mean dilemma — can be learned by taking a look at my cartoon. Once you’re in motion, keep going! Don’t let depression win out.)
I’m 39 and fairly stable with a job, money, etc. My boyfriend of almost a year is 21, holds a full- and a part-time job, is very honest and never asks for anything. I buy him flowers weekly and take him out often. But my friends feel I treat him too well. Is there such a thing as “too well”?
Too Good, Seattle, WA
Giving is totally fine, but remember men get bored easily if they don’t have to work for something. So, let him work a little, which it sounds like he does. Also, sweetie, tell your jealous friends to leave you alone and let you learn about love, dating and giving to your heart’s desire. And if it doesn’t work out, I’m available!
My boyfriend and I have just celebrated one year. Isn’t it time to suggest moving in, getting married or something?
Yours, One Year Itch, Toronto, ONT
Hello One Year Itch,
Sure, by one year you should be on your way towards some future plans. However, if it’s going well, must you pull out your “to do” list just yet? Maybe start throwing some hints around if you must, but if you’ll be together forever, why not let it happen organically? P.S. Also read:
Trinity’s Sound Tips For What To Still Not Talk About One Year Into A Relationship
1. Don’t talk about having to MOVE IN together. (Unless you find a cute/cheap two-bedroom apartment.)
2. Don’t talk about MARRIAGE. Not yet!
3. Don’t talk about OPEN RELATIONSHIPS, threeways or threesomes unless you have no sex life and still want to stay together.
4. Don’t talk about your PAST SEXUAL ESCAPADES. Everyone has parts of their past that no one needs to know about, ever!
5. Don’t talk about BUYING PROPERTY together.
6. Don’t talk about or insist on fixing his or her FINANCIAL ISSUES. You don’t want to get that close to anyone just yet!
7. Don’t talk about or try to solve his or her FAMILY’S PROBLEMS.
8. Don’t talk about the benefits of PLASTIC SURGERY even if you have to look at his or her triple chin and crossed eye regularly!
9. Don’t talk about BORROWING MONEY even if one of you has a lot more than the other. Refer to the song: “Money Changes Everything.”
10. And lastly, don’t talk about the Republicans and their agenda! It’s way too upsetting!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.