I’m openly gay and have been seeing a closeted guy for a couple of weeks. He hasn’t even kissed me yet. Am I wasting my time?
Sincerely, Kissless, Atlanta, GA
Some closeted or out men won’t kiss till they’re sure they like someone. Other men hang around hoping they’ll become interested when they’re not sure. And even other men are too nice to say they’re really not interested, but hang around anyway. That’s men, that’s dating and that’s life, pumpkin! Give it a few weeks to a month, that’s all! And if there’s no lip action by then, then… realize you’re chasing a dead, closeted horse!
I think my live-in boyfriend is stealing from me, but he swears he’s not. A few months ago, I also caught him drinking when he swore he wasn’t. If I can’t trust him, what should I do?
Yours, Caught Twice, Miami Beach, FL
Dearest Caught Twice,
When someone lies the first time, make a mental note, but by the third time, make a dash for the door. Listen, honey, what a man says and what a man does are often… not the same thing! (My cartoon tells you how history is bound to repeat itself if you keep looking for a different outcome! Some things never change, but you can.)
I keep dating people I’m not attracted to, but because they’re nice or generous, I try until eventually I can’t do it anymore. How do I stop this pattern without giving up dating?
Trapped In Kindsville?, San Diego, CA
Hello Trapped In Kindsville,
Being kind always takes precedence over selfishness. However, you are not responsible for everyone’s feelings. We all create good and bad situations so we can learn about life, love, acceptance and rejection. Now, sweetie, to stop this “mercy dating,” a) stop accepting dates from people you’re unattracted to by saying “No” immediately, b) wait before sleeping with anyone so no one gets hurt and c) start approaching people you are attracted to! Dating means “feeling an attraction” be it sexual, intellectual or… financial!
Last month I introduced my new boyfriend and his X-rated tattoos to my parents. I’m afraid they’re still in shock. Why should I keep secrets from my parents? Shouldn’t they be part of my life too?
Freedom Of Speech, Vancouver, BC
Dear Freedom Of Speech,
To be honest, no! Your parents are not your parole officers. They need to be part of your life, and the key word is “part.” You’ll understand one day, but for now start reading:
Trinity’s Sexy Secrets You Don’t Share With Your Parents
1. You don’t share your S&M fetish lifestyle. The latex tuxedo you wore to your niece’s wedding was enough!
2. You don’t show off all your girlfriend’s tattoos. Just because she thinks Jesus being eaten by Satan is cool, your parents don’t have to too!
3. You don’t disclose your fantasy-come-true relationship with the Las Vegas stripper/porn star! The lap dance at your father’s 60th was enough!
4. You don’t share the trials and tribulations of your threesome relationship! They live in Nebraska for God’s sake.
5. You don’t show off your boyfriend’s and your new Prince Alberts just because your mother likes jewelry!
6. You really don’t need to share your lover’s new silicone injected penis at your annual Smith family summer barbeque!
7. You don’t tell your father, his wife, your mother and her lover about your boyfriend’s night in drag, leading to his arrest. It’s not that funny!
8. You don’t let everyone know that you both take drugs strictly for sexual purposes! Isn’t anything sacred?
9. You don’t tell Auntie Em that your new date is with the Hells Angels. Didn’t she have enough troubles with your last ex, the hit man?
10. Lastly, you don’t need to tell your 75-year-old mother on her deathbed that your girlfriend… was born a boy! It’s not always about you!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.