It’s been five years, and I love my girlfriend. However, she’s selfish, and as time goes on, she gets less and less eager to compromise. I’m beginning to feel like a doormat. What can I do?
Thanks, My Way, Grand Rapids, MI
Hi My Way,
Today, in the “ME” generation selfishness is as common as… a spoiled brat president! Also, if your girlfriend is the youngest child or was spoiled and/or is a Scorpio, then you’re in triple-selfish trouble. So first, try getting her (with you) to volunteer at a hospital or gay youth center to open her mind to the needs of others. Second, try having “Selfless Day” at home so she can practice doing for you and vise versa. And, lastly, pumpkin, see if there are books on selfishness. And if there aren’t any, start writing one.
Good Luck, Trinity
My last date went ballistic about my driving “too crazy.” Isn’t that ridiculous? Why should I change the way I drive when someone else is in my car? It’s my car.
Driving Date-saster, LA, CA
Dear Driving Date-saster,
When you’re on a date, you are on a date, not on some Titan competition TV show. Sorry, honey, but you’re wrong to strap someone into a car seat and then show them who’s in control of their life’s destiny. Driving with someone is totally different than driving alone, period. Be respectful toward your passenger’s comfort level at least… until you become a grownup! (Scaring the beejesus out of someone who is riding in your car is like a ride though a haunted tunnel. Both can have an impact on you afterward. Be polite!)
My partner and I are very happy, but when it comes to orgasms, it’s always him or me. Even though I’m a biologist, it’s hard to time our orgasms, which makes mutual satisfaction an issue. Help?
Timing’s Everything, Miami, FL
Hello Timing’s Everything,
Uncontrolled orgasms happen, but after a while you should have some idea of when both volcanos are going to erupt, especially if you’re a scientist. Thus, when one of you gets “close” start preparing the other one of you for mutual eruptions. Sometimes, darling, one of you will have to pull the other one out from that euphoric/selfish place and help their partner with his volcano.
After four years with my husbear, it happened, our sex life has hibernated. Is it inevitable or is there some trick?
Unsatisfied Bear, Boulder, CO
Sex with the same person can be like eating at the same restaurant; it can becomes undesirable after a while. That’s why, sweetie, restaurants change their menus every so often just like you must too. But for now, start reading:
Trinity’s Hot Tips For Keeping Sex and Desire Between You And Your Hubby
1. Try having sex in different ROOMS or places other than the bedroom. Lots can happen in the kitchen or shower, especially at a resort.
2. Try different ways of doing the same thing, especially trying different SEXUAL POSITIONS and/or being more aggressive.
3. Try different APHRODISIACS, such as scented oils, wine or herbs before lying down for sex.
4. Try different TIMES of the day. Wake up early, go to bed early or try doing it in the afternoon.
5. Try clearing your mind during sex while focusing on NAUGHTY thoughts with your partner.
6. Try using all FIVE SENSES differently, i.e., smelling and tasting new areas.
7. Try TALKING DIRTY to each other on the phone or the Internet before getting together that night. Also try talking dirty during sex (no laughing).
8. Try SPRAYING NICE SCENTS into the air conditioner, on the bed and on your privates. It works for me!
9. Try stimulating different EROGENOUS ZONES such as behind the knees and elbows, the armpits or lower back and especially around the neck and feet.
10. Lastly, try NOT BREAKING UP “again” just because the sex got boring “again.” Life is what you make it so make your sex life fun!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.