My partner says I’m an addict and need help. If I drink a lot, but have a good handle on my life, am I still an addict?
Sincerely, Addict With A Handle, Palm Springs, CA
Dear Addict With A Handle,
Most everyone is addicted to something. But as time passes, most people can’t recognize their addictions until someone confronts them. Now, if you drink “a lot” but have a “handle” on it, then you still may be an addict “with a handle” who may or may not need help. So, put the bottle down and entertain the thoughts of your partner. Looking at your life, even if it hurts, is really having “a handle” on it. And, honey, if your partner still persists, yet you find you’re not an addict, then drink quietly… like I do!
I’ve been dating this guy who keeps saying he loves being a bachelor and will never settle down. But I’m the complete opposite. Should I keep dating him?
Sincerely, Wanting More, Albuquerque, NM
Hey Wanting More,
There are many benefits to being a bachelor that your date is obviously not willing to give up just yet. I’m sure you know what he’s talking about. I sure do. Now, sweetie, see if you can let him be him for a while, and if four months pass and you still can’t seduce him home for longer than one night, then I give you the green light to start… looking for a less liberated bachelor.
Good Luck, Trinity
I’ve been part of an organized religious group for many years. It is a strong, loving community that has helped me many times. Don’t you think people who avoid religion and call themselves “spiritual” are really spirit-less?
Yours, The Right Sid, Asheville, NC
Hello Right Side,
I whole-heartedly… disagree! Organized religion is for organize-able people. Not everyone is willing to organize his or her beliefs. If you’ve found your community, then amen. I raise my wafer and wine to you. However, darling, everyone inside and outside the pearly gates truly has their own spiritual quests and religious experiences. So, you be you and let everyone else go on his or her spiritual merry way… without you! (Frankly, sweetie, I have four ways of handling spiritual practices. Check out my cartoon to see how.)
You write an awful lot about “Powerdating,” but when are you going to write some powerdating tips?
Thanks, Power-Waiting, Columbus, OH
I’ve been so busy dating that, pumpkin, I ran out of the house and forgot to leave you:
Trinity’s Easy Tips For *Powerdating (*dating many people at once)
1. Think of Powerdating as if you’re doing a research project for the book, “One Thousand Dates!” NOT “Three Devastating Dates And I Quit!”
2. With any successful project there must FIRST come complications, failures and frustrations.
3. Stay educated, adventurous and keep a fun-loving MOOD about Powerdating.
4. Also remember that the reason you are Powerdating is so that you can LEARN about dating, not to practice being a neurotic slut!
5. Powerdating is like going to K through 12 school. We often want to give up or get our diploma early, but you have to STICK it out.
6. No one owns you after the first few dates, and don’t let anyone think they do. After a few months is another story
7. You yourself KNOW how many different people you can date at one time. So, don’t burn out! Take “private time” breaks.
8. Don’t tell friends or family that you’ve found “The ONE” until a few months go by. The humiliation and explanation of it not working out is worth the wait.
9. And don’t go to the SAME place with different dates. It’s too dangerous. Go to new places each time. It’s safer.
10. Lastly, remember meeting the “right one” means DEALING with many “wrong ones” first!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.