Is it just me… or do most Disney villains look like drag queens? It is not a surprise that drag queens worship these larger than life characters. It is undeniable that the infamous Divine was the inspiration for Ursula. And Cruella de Vil surely was adapted from some vindictive Chelsea queen who had one too many puppies.
For this column I decided to let my Disney queerness out and celebrate some of my favorite Carolina drag queens and what Disney villain I think they would rock out. Read more and please realize I write this with a sense of humor and fun.
1. Cruel de Vil is the ultimate villain.
I mean she has attitude, loves smoking and boos. Plus, she’s a fashion trend-setter — spotted puppy furs. Without a doubt, the “101 Dalmatians” depiction of Cruella would have my choice be Valarie “Aunt Carol” Rockwell — one of my favorite sarcastic, quick-witted and dynamic entertainers. Just watch her Facebook videos, where she burns things, and you will know what I mean.
2. Maleficent is sometimes known as the “Mistress of All Evil.”
Yep, this would be Tia Douglas. Have you seen her in the Maleficent costume? It fits her perfectly. As far as Disney, this villain is just a misunderstood soul. After all, her parents were killed by humans, and she was an orphan left in the enchanted forest with Pixies. Yeah, she makes bad choices, but somehow you want to forgive her. Plus, she loves a good “prick.”
3. The Evil Queen is known by many names (The Queen, Queen Grimhilde, Evil Queen) — but her most famous quote from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” is “Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”
Yeah, what drag queen hasn’t said that in a mirror? And even though she has not done drag in awhile, I would have to pick my good friend Judy Bella Nichole Jade for this Disney villain depiction. Plus she is now a make-up and hair stylist, so it makes so much sense.
4. Cinderella’s stepmother is a classic villain who uses her cunning wit and antics to get what she wants.
Now I have not seen this lady in awhile — but I choose Patti O’Furniture. She is witty, clever and she knows what she wants. All great qualities in a villain and show director. Plus, I know she is good at running off mice in the kitchen.
5. Yzma is the villain of “The Emperor’s New Groove.”
I love how they draw her in the movie, kind of like a Cabaret singer meets Vegas showgirl — plus Eartha Kitt is the voice. I know Detra Panucci can pull this villain off and bring her to life. She’s got the groove and the moves.
6. Madame Medusa terrorizes as the grande dame in Disney’s “The Rescuers.”
She is all about her vanity and money. At times she is a bit crazy and ill tempered. But I don’t pick this queen for those traits, rather I choose Barbara Burning Bush because she has that fiery look and personality. And I know she can pull off the sagging breasts. Just kidding.
7. The Queen of Hearts is often called a tyrannical and deranged ruler.
She is the perfect antagonist in “Alice in Wonderland” and is obsessed with decapitating the girl. I personally think she is hilarious, and this drag queen depiction needs to be a big girl with a big personality. So I pick Coco Couture — because that lady is crazy. And her hair is huge!
8. Gothel only wishes to remain young and beautiful forever.
Gothel lies to Rapunzel telling her that she is her mother and wants to protect her by having her stay in the tower. She also wants her “golden” magical hair so Gothel can use it to remain young. Now I think Lilli Frost has told a similar story to some boys on a Saturday night. Plus, I know she loves this movie. Whip that hair back and forth lady!
9. Ursula is by far my favorite of all the villains.
I mean she is always well-intentioned, she’s a plus size gal and she wants to help “poor unfortunate souls” — regardless of how pathetic they are. I am going to own this. I pick me — Buff Faye. I perform her often and I even have a special cochlea necklace that I made myself.
Watch out Magic Kingdom — this is going to be fierce! Ladies, lets do a big production and bring these villains to life!
DRAG TIP: Stay fresh. Remember to wash your pads and undergarments regularly. I said this for you Kristin Collins!
SHOUT OUTS: Don’t miss the Diznee Drag Brunch on Sunday, April 28 and give back to local charities. Get tickets online at AllBuff.com.
Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and loves Mickey Mouse (plus she loves to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. And don’t forget her monthly Sunday drag brunch. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye.