Demonic, Immoral and Shameful Living

Tell Trinity

Hello Trinity,
I’ve been dating this guy off and on for almost a year, but then… I met his brother. Now, I’ve been fooling around with his brother behind his back for a few months. Am I bad, or is it his brother’s fault too?
Help! Brotherly Sins, Los Angeles, CA

Hello Brotherly Sins,
Now I know I’ve read this problem somewhere. Oh, yes, here it is in the book called, “Demonic, Immoral and Shameful Living” written by Satan himself just before descending into the underworld. In the chapter called “Ruining A Family Without A Conscience” it clearly states that, “When you sleep with or date two brothers at the same time behind their backs, any morals or standards that you thought you had no longer exist.” This chapter also touches on future karmic punishment, but that’s way too graphic to print. Darling, you better start sleeping with a weapon because this is not a love story… this is a revenge thriller.
Speechless, Trinity

Dear Trinity,
The world is in such turmoil: the economy, the GOP’s war on the working class. The Putin/Trump love affair! I can’t find the meaning of life anymore! Help!
Sincerely, Lost, Tulsa, OK

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Dear Lost,
Every so often even the most fabulous find themselves lost. Pumpkin, you must force yourself to conquer your loss for life by getting lots of sleep, keeping busy, intellectually challenging yourself, as well working on the next election and facing your fears constantly! (I do this daily and it’s empowering. Check out my cartoon to see how.)

Hey Trinity,
I caught my boyfriend in the bathroom at a circuit party with another guy for the second time. He said that they were just doing drugs. Why are gay men into drugs and sex at the bar even if they have someone special at home?
Yours, Sex & Drugs, Detroit, MI

Hey S & D,
Some relationships are “win- win,” but this sounds more like “loser-loser!” Drugs and/or sex in the toilet stall also sounds like juvenile delinquency at its finest. Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean having his problems. This situation is way too Sid & Nancy (Vicious) for me, or you. Sweetie, before you catch him a third time you need to tell him, “Make a fool of someone else… and good-bye!”
Good luck, Trinity

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Dearest Trinity,
I need to go to court, but my offense is not big enough to be appointed a lawyer. I need one, and I can’t afford one. Help!
Lawyerless, Tucson, AZ

Dearest Lawyerless,
I may not have been born in a courtroom, but, honey, I’ve been in one many times for many reasons. So on those trying court days where you must go it alone, here are:

Trinity’s Trusty Tips For Winning in Court Without A Lawyer
1. Showing up ON TIME with a good attitude always works best.
2. Be very PREPARED with pictures, statements, witnesses and short, to-the-point answers.
3. You’re not in a foreign country where they flog you, so at least APPEAR grateful and RESPECTFUL to the judge, jury and the press.
4. Look PROFESSIONAL. Men: dress shirt, tie (optional), slacks, shoes. Women: two piece suits and hair UP!
5. If you have a law enforcement, post office, doctors or military uniform, WEAR IT!
6. Pointing, throwing things or swearing in court is one way to be found GUILTY or in “Contempt of Court.”
7. I know you’re a gay rights, feminist, African-American, anti-establishment activist, but a courtroom is NOT the place to attack the SYSTEM.
8. Would you rather die right or live? Spend your time in court proving yourself innocent, not standing up for what’s right. (Review: Salem Witch Trials)
9. The more MONEY you have the better chance you have of getting out of trouble, so get it, borrow it or FIND IT if you can!
10. Lastly, our judicial system has major failures, but it’s what we have, so learn to MANIPULATE it rather than blame it!

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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