My best friend keeps pushing me to get rid of my glasses and get contacts. He says it will help my dating life and my sex life. But what’s wrong with glasses?
Yours, Eye Contact(s), Kansas City, MO
Dear Eye Contact(s),
If truth be told, glasses hide your face, block your eyes and get in the way of kissing. In other words, honey, single folks with glasses must also own contacts. Yes, glasses are convenient and make you look sophisticated, but contacts let others see into your eyes, trust your face and feel like they’re getting a sense of you — maybe even experience love at first sight. The eyes are the key to the soul as well as to better dating.
After so many bad dates, when is it time to just accept that I’m going to be single forever?
Giving Up, Daytona Beach, FL
Hello Giving Up,
When is it time? Well, when is it time for a baby to stop trying to stand up and just crawl forever? When is it time for an athlete to stop trying to accelerate and just accept failure? Sorry, pumpkin, but the answer is never. You can never give up on dating! Maybe, when you’re on your deathbed, and you can’t feel your feet. Then, and only then, can you… take the night off. (Keep your options open like I do. See my cartoon for how I deal with it, sugar! Like the old adage says, “try, try again…”)
My boyfriend ended our two-year relationship recently. Sometimes I’m fine, but sometimes I’m all depressed. Help?
Yours, Dealing With It, Billings, MT
There are four stages of dealing with death (and a break up): shock, sadness, anger and (finally) resolution. Resolution takes the longest and has the most emotional waves of happy, sad, anger and eventual peace. Breaking up means taking a journey back through all the emotions you felt on your way toward loving someone. Eventually, sweetie, you’ll learn to live without their problems and them. Give it time. But not too much time.
Big Hugs, Trinity
My partner and I are thinking about opening up our relationship. Do you think it will be negative or positive for us as a couple of six years?
Sincerely, Opening Night Jitters, Palm Springs, CA
Hey Opening Night Jitters,
There are many positive and negative realities to an open relationship. I printed the positive ones a few columns back so, darling, after years of thought here’s:
Trinity’s Negative Realities For Starting An Open Relationship
1. LOVE: If you or your partner falls in love with someone else, everything is over.
2. DISEASES: If one of you ”slips” up, the other one will also catch the “slipper.”
3. BALANCE: If one partner gets too crazy while the other one hardly indulges, there will be a major imbalance.
4. DISSATISFACTION: If someone else pleases your partner more than you, then the sex between you two may get boring or non-existent.
5. JEALOUSY: If you bring someone home for yourself or a third person for both of you, but he/she is more into one of you, someone may get jealous.
6. THE GAME: If you think finding sex or other people to have an open relationship with is easy, you just may find out that it’s a very time-consuming game.
7. THE SEARCH: If finding someone else means going out, searching the Internet and so on, that means less time to work on your own relationship.
8. THE RHYTHM: If one of you isn’t on the same sexual schedule as the other one, you may not be able to keep both sex-lives going for long.
9. THE THIRD ONE: If someone else decides they want one or both of you, you now have to deal with someone else’s stalking, obsessions or desires.
10. Lastly, YOUR OTHER PROBLEMS: If you start an open relationship, this doesn’t mean your other problems will disappear or any new problems won’t appear!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.