Recently, I moved in with my father and his new wife. But she wants me to be quiet about being gay. She’s afraid she will lose custody of her grandchildren because a gay man is living in her house. I told her it won’t happen. It’s against the law. Unfortunately, I don’t have a job or the money to move. What should I do?
Upset & Depressed, Billings, MT
You’ve the right to be upset. It’s awful being closeted. BUT if you choose to live in their house, then you must live under their rules. She’s not so awful for wanting to protect her grandchildren. And if she’s afraid it will end up in court, or even if she’s making the whole thing up, it’s her house! When you have your own house you can make the rules up too. For now, get a job, save your money and get out ASAP! Oh, and, pumpkin, give yourself a pat on the back for being able to make adult compromises in tough situations.
I met a guy who is new to gay life. We’re having lots of sex, and I’m falling in love. But he doesn’t want to get serious or even call it dating. Am I going to need a heart transplant in the end?
Thanks, Falling Hard From Just Sex, Atlanta, GA,
Dearest Falling Hard,
If you’re falling in love when he wants you to just enjoy a sexual relationship with him, then you’re a healthy man in a world where many men have a “fear of D-A-T-I-N-G.” This is life, and the situation you chose to get into. For now, enjoy the moment, but heed his warning that he’s “not ready,” period! And when you’ve had enough, enjoy your “I’ve had enough” moment as well. Otherwise, sweetie, you may want to start shopping for a new heart. (But don’t run away scared like my cartoon shows. Be brave!)
Not too long ago you did a Trinity’s Tips for “the wrong moment” to end a relationship. What about “the right moment” to get out of one?”
Yours, Avid Reader, Seattle, WA
Dear Avid Reader,
It’s taken me years of research to find just the right moment to kill, I mean end, a relationship. So, honey, here are:
Trinity’s Final Tips For (TRM) “The Right Moment” To File For Divorce
1. With a bouquet of flowers and tickets for a cruise, you throw open the door to find him on top of… your best friend. TRM!
2. Your entire family has flown in for your wedding, and guess who comes stumbling drunk up the aisle? TRM!
3. He suddenly announces, “I’m fasting from sex for six months, and my mother is moving in.” TRM!
4. After two months of dieting, liposuction and getting off antidepressants, she reminds you, “You’re still an overweight mess who’ll never be happy.” TRM!
5. Your partner of five years says, “Either change everything you do, or I’m leaving!” TRM!
6. Not only has he been a lunatic from the steroids, the gym and his sleep schedule, now he insists on replacing all “our” meals with protein drinks. TRM!
7. Your friends are around the piano singing happy birthday to you, when your partner starts screaming (again), “Why is it always about you!” TRM!
8. You give up your great job, move to his country and change your last name to his. But now he wants you to give up all ties to your (very large) family! TRM!
9. While on a business trip, you call and call, but no answer. Finally, your neighbor calls to say, her husband has left her… for yours. TRM!
10. After five years of working on your Ph.D., you’re finally two days away. But he gets jealous, destroys your computer, yelling, “Your career is always more important than me!” TRM!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.