You Are One In A Million

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
I seem to be on an unlucky streak. I lost my job, my partner and now I’m being evicted. The only thing good in my life is my health and my cat. Help!
Dreading Tomorrow, Tulsa, OK

Dear Dreading Tomorrow,
SLEEP lots, have FAITH and keep BUSY. These three things have always kept me alive. We all have bad days and/or awful experiences, yet, sweetie, what separates the enlightened ones from the rest is our spirit to shake it off and move forward. In “Jonathan Livingston Seagull,” Jonathan asks God, “Why are there so few seagulls up here?” and God replies, “Because you are but one in a million!”
This too shall pass, Trinity

Hey Trinity,
My partner and I of 13 years have never cheated on each other. Although, occasionally, we enjoy having a third person in our bed. No one gets jealous, and it works for us. But some of our friends think that we are compromising our relationship. What’s your position?
Yours, Three’s Company, New York City, NY

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Hey, Three’s Company,
Every household, every couple and every relationship has its “crazy,” even “scandalous,” activities that make it a one-of-a-kind relationship. Now, pumpkin, if you must stuff yourself with a third entree that your friends disapprove of, then why not just keep it to yourselves. And if you all end up in a “threesome relationship,” then you may have to find more “compromising” friends. (Hey, compromises often bring about a lot of unexpected options as shown in my cartoon.)
Bon Appetit, Trinity

Trinity Dearest,
My ex goes to the same places I do. I am often forced to see, and even talk to him. I wish we didn’t have mutual friends. How do I get away from him?
Yours, Avoiding The Ex, Providence, RI

Dearest Avoiding,
Just when you thought you were over him, tada, there he is again to make you feel all those feelings you were supposed to get “over.” Well, darling, being prepared, quick-witted and having an exit strategy like, “I must use the toilette,” is a great way to get through those awkward moments. It does, however, get easier with time. I promise.
Keep breathing, Trinity

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Hello Trinity,
I’ve been working and traveling so much the last few years that I haven’t had time or the desire to date. Now, I’ve relocated to a nine-to-five job and am able to date again. I have no trouble meeting, but getting through the first date is where I bomb. Any ideas?
Yours, Free At Last, Reno, NV

Hello, Free At Last,
After a few years, I’d bomb too, but there are ways to restart your dating engine so that you can survive the trials, tribulations and trepidation of a first date. So, honey, start memorizing:

Trinity’s Poetic Tips For Surviving A First Date
1. Good first IMPRESSIONS and a healthy drive make any first date flourish and thrive.
2. Putting too much energy into “this being the one” creates unnecessary pressure and a night of no fun.
3. An EARLY dinner, movie or even a show promises less chance of you becoming a midnight ho!
4. BOASTING, exaggerating or playing it way too cool makes you look pretentious, with the nickname, “A Fool!”
5. Practice chivalry, charm or what some call grace, by being PRESENT, disconnecting the cellphone and looking face-to-face.
6. INTEGRITY, wit and keeping your calm means canceling or being late may set off a bomb.
7. Club dancing, big parties or a crowded event makes for a difficult first date and is not TIME well spent.
8. WAITING, before giving a dog its bone keeps the dog eager to call you on the phone.
9. Enjoy the date, have fun, BE PLAYFUL and at ease, but never be so relaxed as to contract genital herpes!
10. And lastly, remember a word from the wise; EXPECTATION is disappointment, hidden in disguise.

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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