Monogamy: Is There More Than One Rule?

Tell Trinity

Dearest Trinity,
Why do gay people and straight people think about monogamy so differently?
Yours, Monogamy Dilemma, Las Vegas, NV

Dearest Monogamy Dilemma,
Monogamy means different things at different times to different people. Ever since Stonewall, the gay community has been forced into re-evaluating “monogamy,” morally, politically, culturally and spiritually. And, sweetie, since gay people are different than straights, monogamy will have a different meaning. That’s one of the beauties of being gay. Just saying!
Love, Trinity

Hello Trinity,
I really don’t believe in voting. It’s minorities being controlled by the majority. There’s so much corruption anyway. Voting doesn’t help!
Signed, Taking A Stand, Columbia, SC

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Hello Taking A Stand,
Long ago, before voting, one group would go to war with another and whoever had the most soldiers left alive would take power. Very few countries change governments without bloodshed, BUT America is one of them, so be proud. As all governments do have corruption, voting makes it possible to have some control over their corruption. And, darling, because of voting, being gay in 2019 is now very, very different than it was in 1969! Please vote! (Not registered to vote? Do it today! We need your vote now more than ever. See my cartoon for inspiration, darling.)
Kisses, Trinity

Dear Trinity,
On TV the other night, Jennifer Lopez was wearing a shirt exposing everything but her nipples. When is too much, enough?
Help, Too Much La Clevage, Spokane, WA

Dear La Clevage,
Topless women are very normal in Europe and quickly undressing our American shores. Although Women’s Lib may seem historic, it’s still going strong. In New York City they passed a law, “If men can go topless in public then so can women.” Pumpkin, the best thing to do with change is to try to accept it as quickly as possible! It’s the joys of growing older.
Kisses, Trinity

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Hey Trinity,
Recently, while at a party, I met this couple who talked excessively about their love of being a Republican. Eventually, I had to be rude and walk away. They were appalled! When is it the right time to walk away?
Thanks, Not Wrong But Rude, Peoria, IL

Hey Not Wrong But Rude,
Being a big party go-er, I can sympathize. In my life, honey, I’ve found there ARE times when being polite means pulling your hands off their throat and walking away. Here are some examples.

Trinity’s Wise Tips For Knowing When To Walk Away (WA)
1. You finally found a parking spot when suddenly a 300 pound, truck-driving redneck, displaying a shotgun in the back window, takes your spot! WA
2. As a waiter, you’re taking an order from a couple who begins verbally fighting with each other, when one grabs a steak knife. WA
3. On the celebration of your first year of sobriety, your new roommate throws you a booze and bong party. WA
4. You find the man you’re about to marry is in bed with the man you just divorced. Put the gun down, and WA.
5. Refusing to eat the gourmet dinner you spent all day preparing specifically for her, your mother-in-law says, “This meal isn’t fit for humans, Sweetie!” WA
6. Your straight friend, whom you keep telling you’re gay, sets you up on a blind date with the opposite sex! WA
7. On the first day of Chanukah, sweet, innocent Carolers come a-knockin’ at your door singin’, “Jesus is the way! Praise Jesus with us!” Shut, don’t slam the door and WA.
8. The really cute guy, who’s been buying you drinks all night, returns from barfing in the bathroom and now wants to French kiss! WA
9. As you’re sitting in front of the pizza parlor, late at night, alone, six punk teenagers start harassing you about the pink triangle on your neck and the rainbow flag on your hat. WA
10. Lastly, it’s 2 a.m. and you just finished singing a two-hour jazz set, when someone sneaks backstage to endlessly express a problem they had with one of your advice columns they recently read! WA

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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