My new girlfriend has a four-year-old daughter that she conceived by sleeping with a man just to get pregnant. She has never told the father or the daughter about each other. However, I feel strongly that they both have a right to know. My girlfriend disagrees and never intends to tell either one of them. What do you think, and should I tell the father?
Losing Respect, Wichita, KS
Hello Losing Respect,
Remember, if you spill the beans, you may also have to eat them. Thus my vote is absolutely NO! Do not squeal on anyone unless someone’s life is in danger. And right now, no one’s life is in danger! So if you can’t be her partner because this bothers you too much, then say good-bye. Honey, my bet is that eventually, someday when she’s ready she’s going to want to come clean. For now, be respectful and supportive by letting her be the queen of her own destiny… rather than you being the Control Queen.
I’m about to move out of my own house and in with my boyfriend of three years, but I cannot commit to being monogamous. Sex is not a big part of our relationship but companionship is. What do you think about monogamy?
Monogamy Or Your Life, Portland, ME
Many couples have trouble with mo…, mo…, monogamy. Living and loving someone special is a give and take, and mo…, mo…, monogamy is hard for men, I mean many. Sweetie, this may be one of those issues you both have to agree on or agree to disagree on. But before you move in, have “the talk.” (Mercy, I have a hard time with that word, too. See my cartoon on how faint it makes me.)
I started dating someone in my office. My best friend thinks that it will cause problems. I agree with my best friend, but I really love this person. Help!
Yours, Internal Affairs, Charleston, SC
Dearest Internal Affairs,
Good relationships always have two major ingredients — time together and time apart. Dating a coworker may give you a new appreciation for “time apart.” By dating a coworker, you get to spend almost every waking hour with your new hate, I mean date. And, darling, if that doesn’t scare you, then do the math. Eight working hours together plus four to six hours socializing together. Well, that leaves you just enough time to run away to a new job… in another part of the world.
Lots of Luck, Trinity
Getting my girlfriend away from her work is a big problem in our relationship. How do I get her to see that she’s a workaholic?
Thanks, Work Or Me, Dayton, OH
Hey Work Or Me,
There are MANY reasons for working too much, but there are many MORE reasons to not work so much, i.e., life, love, adventure, health and so on. More often than not, most people don’t even know they’re workaholics until they see…
Trinity’s Eye-Opening Tips For Knowing If You’re A Workaholic
1. Thinking about Mondays brings you tears of joy.
2. You love watching the sunrise… from your office window.
3. If you can’t correspond on WhatsApp, then you’re not interested in corresponding.
4. Anyone who can’t do two or three things at once you call, “A slacker!”
5. A microwave, Keurig machine and takeout menus are what you proudly call your “kitchen!”
6. Driving means: shaving or applying make-up, talking on the cell phone with clients, and/or… getting dressed at a stoplight.
7. Someone finally asks you to marry them, but you only have time to answer them by… email.
8. Attending weddings and funerals seem ridiculous when you can be making money instead.
9. Vacations mean: swimsuits, cocktails, tropical breezes, the cell phone, laptop or your new iPad pro.
10. Lastly, it’s been years since you’ve done your own laundry, cooking, cleaning or driving, and you can’t remember how!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.