Oh No, Not Drag!

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
Recently, a guy I’ve been dating just told me he did drag. He’s so masculine. I never suspected it. I’m afraid that seeing him in drag will ruin my sexual attraction for him. Help!
Sincerely, Drag Doubts, Minneapolis, MN

Dear Drag Doubts,
When someone does drag, they’re releasing/embracing their inner feminine qualities, leaving behind, in many cases, a more masculine man. Drag is also a form of art. So fear not the Van Gogh that lives within your new date. Your higher power obviously put you two together for a reason. So, darling, if you want this relationship to work, then ready or not you’ll have to watch him get dressed, dress him yourself or even more profoundly, do drag with him!
Big wet drag kisses! Trinity

To Trinity,
My boss is very picky about me being late. I’m usually only five or 10 minutes late once in a while. How can I get my boss to be cooler about time?
Yours, Mr. Easy, San Antonio, TX

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To Mr. Easy,
A few years ago I figured out that it’s completely unstressful to be a few minutes early compared to the high stress of being a few minutes late. When you want to grow up and play with the big players, then your word will have to become like a contract. Once you have INTEGRITY, sweetie, which means having your promise be better than a contract, then you’ll stop being late and stop making your boss wrong for keeping you to your word. Oh, and you’ll suddenly find yourself with fewer bosses standing over you and more employees working under you! (Don’t be like the White Rabbit who was “late for an important date.” Rather, be the “early bird who catches the worm.” It also helps for not missing trains, planes and other scheduled services and events — or to time-honored Clarksville.)
XOXO! Trinity

Dearest Trinity,
I want to go to the gym and start working out, but I’m so skinny. I feel like a fool in those places. Any advice!
Sincerely, Not Charles Atlas, Syracuse, NY

Dearest Not Charles Atlas,
We all have to start somewhere. A trainer, if you can afford it, always draws attention away from you and will get you started on the right foot. Also, if you’re overly eager to look the part, muscle tank tops and baggy plaid gym pants is not a good start. If you’re as skinny as you say, then shorts, a clean T-shirt and dark socks will do just fine for starters. Exercise on a regular basis is fabulous for one’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. If you work hard at it, you’ll be very surprised. However, honey, if five months go by and you still don’t look like something changed, then I’ve got a great plastic surgeon on Fifth Avenue. You’ll love him, I do!
Fake it till you make it! Trinity

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Hello Trinity,
It seems that most of my houseguests who stay for a few days seem to never show their appreciation if you know what I mean. Not even a box of cookies! Is it wrong to expect gifts of appreciation from a houseguest?
Yours, House Guest Horrors, Cleveland, OH

Hello House Guest Horrors,
According to ancient Greek and Hebraic traditions, it was wrong to expect gifts from an overnight guest but, for a second, third- or fourth-night guest it was also customary to receive gifts of appreciation. So, pumpkin, since I can’t find that chapter in my “Tales of Greek & Hebraic Hospitality Ethics,” here’s a poem I wrote, to post on your guest room mirror.

House guest Proverb
When one’s door knocks becomes one
night’s guest
The door must you open and give no test.
When two nights pass and to stay is
their will,
Fruits and flowers, must they offer to fill
your till!
When a third or fourth night still finds
them a bed,
A fancy dinner must they host else off with
their head!
But when one week passes a guest
no more,
For compensation must be presented or
show them to the door!
— Trinity

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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