I’m writing to you because I’m 18, gay and live in a small town. There’s not a lot for me to do. It seems that if you’re not of drinking age or live in a big city, you’re considered a gay outcast. Sometimes, I think there’s no place for me! Help!
Yours, Under Age, Medford, MA
Hello Under Age,
I haven’t been underage in ages. However, when I was, I also had to work hard and be creative to meet gay folk as well. Today, you can a) search the Internet to find gay youth groups near and far and join gay youth forums/blogs, b) get a job at a place where gay people frequent, c) ask gay friends what they do in your community and even better, d) call a gay youth hotline. These things will definitely help you. Pumpkin, being young and gay is truly a gift. The future is all yours!
Big hugs, Trinity
My best girlfriend just started dating this great girl whom I am falling in love with. I dream about this girl all the time. How do I stop?
Thanks, Best Friend Troubles, San Diego, CA
Dearest Best Friend Troubles,
You can’t go there! You’ll lose your best girlfriend and your self-respect. But you can’t shut out your feelings either. So what you can do is dream, but no obsessing. For now, you must keep yourself busy by meeting other women and acting very cool around this new couple. These two may not date forever and at that point, honey, you can start shooting cupid’s arrow. But, please, let a few weeks or a month pass first! (Life is not always a Garden of Eden, so be careful what or whom you pick and watch out for unwanted snakes in the grass who can derail your peaceful environs.)
Hi Miss Trinity,
I loved seeing you sing on stage. You inspire me! I’d love to sing too, but I’m dreadfully afraid of being on stage. Do you have any advice to help me get over stage fright?
Sincerely, Introverted Singer, Roanoke, VA
Hi Introverted Singer,
Many performers, including Streisand and Garland, had an awful time being on stage. I myself used to have that problem. But one night, 15 years ago, I was hired to do a show for a hundred people in a hall in New Hope, Pa. When I arrived wearing a dress fit for the Grammy’s, it ended up being moved to a private house party for an audience of 11 stoned, naked hippies. Needless to say, I was livid and fit to be tied! But the show had to go on. I was so upset that I sang, totally forgetting about my stage fright. And I’ve been singing ever since. Anyway, darling, keep singing in front of familiar people until the pain goes away.
Finally, I’m thinking of coming out as a gay man to my family, whom I live within a very homophobic town. But before I do, have you got any supportive words of wisdom?
Yours, Coming Out, Lancaster, PA
Dear Coming Out,
Congratulations! Coming out is usually a shocker at first, but years later they always say, “Sweetie, I never had a problem with it.” So prepare with:
Trinity’s Graceful Tips For Coming Out To Someone
1. Set up a support system for yourself before you say the holy words!
2. First, tell them you have cancer then say, “Just kidding! I’m only gay!”
3. Get them to visit gay places, events or gay groups like PFLAG.
4. Feel pride in knowing that it only gets better, after it gets worse!
5. Make sure no one is standing near a cliff or set of knives when you tell them.
6. Leave a few hints prior to the big surprise. Like this article!
7. Get them to watch “Will and Grace.”
8. Leave yourself a little financial independence before you tell them.
9. Be understanding toward their new situation! Time heals everything.
10. And, lastly, hold your ground!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: email@example.com.