P-town, Wilton Manors, Palm Springs, Oh My!

Tell Trinity

Dear Trinity,
The love of my life and I are starting to make plans for our gay honeymoon. What would you suggest?
Thanks, Honeymooners, Nashville, TN

Dear Honeymooners,
Try getting out of bed, opening up your Internet browser, calling some gay ole friends or simply talking to any flamboyant travel agent. As a gay couple on a honeymoon, it’s best to go to places like Provincetown, Mass., Palm Springs, Calif. or any quaint gay village. This is what my hus-bear and I would do. If I had a husband! Oh God, where’s my medication? Anyway, honey, I’d stay away from those super-single gay adventures like Atlantis Cruises. They’ll only make you wonder, “Why the hell did I get married in the first place?”
Good Luck, Trinity

Hello Trinity,
I know you write about “Powerdating,” dating many people at one time, but how do you do it? Don’t you get confused or get into precarious situations?
Sincerely, PowerDoubts, Providence, RI

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Hello PowerDoubts,
Of course, I get into precarious situations. But the alternative of not dating, or dating one being at a time, can also be torturous! With Powerdating you’ll never feel like a loser and, sweetie, you’ll also have better odds of finding your Them, Miss or Mr. Right! (Variety is the spice of life, the old saying goes and is the focus of my cartoon. Dating several different people at one time can be fun, but be sure to keep their names accurate so as not to embarrass yourself, sweetie!)

Dearest Trinity,
My girlfriend of 15 months wants me to move in with her. Do you think giving up my own apartment to move in with her is a good idea?
Thanks, In Or Out, Daytona Beach, FL

Dearest In Or Out,
I once started to write tips called “Reasons for giving up your freedom and moving in with someone.” But I could never come up with more than one reason other than “money!” It’s great to live with the one you love. However, darling, it doesn’t always make things easier emotionally. It does financially unless your partner isn’t good at budgeting. Now in all seriousness, take all the risks you can in life, don’t be too practical and remember if it doesn’t work out, you can always start over again! I have, many times!
Best of luck, Trinity

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Hey Trinity,
All through high school and college, I dated the same person. Now we‘ve broken up. As someone new to dating, what should and shouldn’t I be doing?
Yours, New and Single, Peoria, IL

Hey New and Single,
Congratulations on being with the same person all through your youth. While most people spend those years learning about single life and then meet someone special, you’ve learned it the other way around. So, pumpkin, here are:

Trinity’s Lifesaving Tips For Being An Excellent New Date
1. If you can’t decorate, HIRE someone! Plants, fake or real, and framed pictures do wonders!
2. Just because you live alone doesn’t mean you should be a slob. Get a HOUSEKEEPER if you can’t clean up after yourself!
3. If you never COOK for yourself, how will you ever learn to cook for someone else?
4. I know you should be loved for exactly who you are, but, please, spend TIME making yourself attractive whenever you go on a date, i.e., clean teeth and breath, shave, clothes and smell nice.
5. Living alone can make you SELFISH over time. Keep checking to see if you’ve become obnoxious yet!
6. Keeping appointments, written neatly in a calendar, always using your (unpublished) cell phone number and keeping an OVERNIGHT BAG in your car can make dating much easier.
7. If you’re too lax on paying your bills, STAY single! No one dreams of taking on that much responsibility!
8. Having pets will help you LEARN to be affectionate, compassionate and responsible for others.
9. I know living by yourself is easier than living with someone else, but eventually, you’re going to have to GROW UP!
10. Lastly, singles and couples both have their troubles, but remember, couples LIVE longer, bring in more money and have a more affectionate future.

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

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