My best friend did something horrible to me two years and we have never talked since. Now we work together, so I’m forced to talk to him. Help!
Thanks, Forgive Him/Forgive Him Not,
Hello Forgive Him/Not,
Once, after a huge argument with my father, I stormed out yelling, “I forgive you and now I’m gonna go and figure out how!” Eventually, I knew I’d forgive him, but I didn’t want to waste time. Forgiveness isn’t about giving your money to a man who stole from you, it’s about saying or feeling, “I release you. Now go away!” Once you do this, whether it feels true for you in the moment or not, you suddenly begin to release your connection to them, allowing yourself to live freer from anger, resentment or fear. It’s all about you. So, honey, forgive… but don’t forget!
My girlfriend is always pushing me into trying new things, going to new places, even eating different foods. How do I get her to love me for who I am, not for who she wants me to be?
Fine The Way I Am, Baltimore, MD
Hey Fine… I Am,
You mean she wants you to step out of your comfort zone, experience life differently, even have the world be your oyster rather than being a mussel trapped in a clam. Darling, we all need to embrace change, diversity, even danger. Some people spend their life being great at things they’re already great at but only a few can chase things they’re unfamiliar with. These people are called leaders, heroes and adventure seekers. Now, take a deep breath, grab your girlfriend’s hand… and jump! (Be daring and adventurous in life, because if you don’t, then you might miss out on some amazing opportunities to truly live and meeting really super people in the process. See my cartoon for a little insight.)
A year ago I got really drunk and slept with my college roommate. Does that mean I’m g… g…. gay!
Not Too Drunk To Remember, Gainesville, FL
Dear Not Too Drunk,
It takes much more than one drunken night to claim any prestigious gay title. Let time pass and see if you crave these feelings again. Unless you know deep down inside whether you’re gay or not, then you’ll have to wait or keep searching for the answer. Also, sweetie, fear only fear itself because as Helen Keller wrote, “Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing.”
I love traveling and visiting friends, but recently I got a nasty letter from a friend telling me that I was a lousy guest and that I better learn some houseguest manners. Any advice?
Yours, House Guest Troubles,
San Francisco, CA
Dearest House Guest Troubles
Don’t you just hate those letters! Why didn’t they just tell you what was wrong then? Pumpkin, I guess they’re only human. So here’s,
Trinity’s Successful Tips For Being The Perfect Houseguest
1. Always ARRIVE with a gift. Don’t wait till you leave ‘cause it may be too late.
2. Clean up after yourself and them. It’s nice to be pampered by the pampered.
3. Ask questions about the house rules. Don’t wait for them to yell… I mean tell you.
4. Don’t spend your entire time in their house and/or in their lives. Too much company is company that’s “too much!”
5. Don’t tell them how to live or decorate better, but rather buy something you think would fit nicely in their home.
6. If you use the phone or answer the door, take unbelievably great messages.
7. If you’re there for a few days, make them, bring them or take them out to dinner.
8. Spend time with them if possible. Never crash, get smashed, trash and dash! (Ref. back to #7)
9. Before you leave clean up the space(s) that you used, i.e., bathroom, bedroom and kitchen.
10. Lastly, a THANK YOU card or call is a MUST. This is a Trinity top 10 tip you can trust.
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.