I recently met the man of my dreams. Of course, he lives in New Orleans, and I’m about to move to New York City. But I really, deep down think that he’s “the one!” Help!
Dreamer in Two Cities, Atlanta, GA
Hello Dreamers of Two Cities,
“If love finds you, follow it, chase it, run with it until you’re scared and bruised and glowing with adventure.” —Trinity
Love’s definitely not practical, so… why should you be, at least right away. Must you move to New York City? Can’t you spend a few trial weeks in New Orleans? Listen, honey, if he feels the same way and if you know or at least can spend time finding out if he is “the one,” then New York City can wait. Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing.”
When is it safe to let someone I am starting to date know all my intimate details?
Thanks, Waiting to Disclose, Boston, MA
Hey Waiting to Disclose,
When car dealers sell cars, they clean it, tune it and make it “purr… like a kitten.” They never disclose the problems. Once it’s sold, over time, the buyer finds problems but… is already “hooked” and eventually learns to love it anyway. It’s called “bait and hook.” So, sweetie, wait until someone is “hooked” then disclose your not-so-perfect past. For me, it’s usually after the sixth date when I say, “I’m a clean freak, relationship junkie and can only prepare dinner… reservations!” (Secrets are like candy. Some are sweeter than others. Choose them wisely as my cartoon shows.)
While in a 10-year relationship that went sour, my ex convinced me to have sex with him and another man. I hated it! Now, I’m dating a new guy who asked me to do the same thing! Oh no, not again?
Threeway Problems, Salt Lake City, UT
Nobody should do what he or she hates. Yet, nobody should fall off a horse and never get back on, either. These things come up. I mean, three things come up. So listen, pumpkin, if you don’t like the idea of a threesome, then don’t do it. But don’t do it just because of one old experience. Now, should you change your ways? Of course, change, alter, experience and GROW! The End! Side note: I agree though, two men snoring is a hell of a lot louder than one.
Three hugs, Trinity
I keep falling in love, or at least I think it’s love. How do you know if you’re in love or in lust?
Love & Lust Troubles, Austin, TX
Dear Love & Lust Troubles,
There are a million answers to this question, but, darling, you should at least have 10. These 10 tips have always worked for me, so here’s:
Trinity’s Sassy Tips For Knowing When You’re In Love or In Lust
1. When you think of him as your hot, new porn star boyfriend and nothing else. Lust!
2. When being around her is like floating through the Garden of Eden with French subtitles. Love!
3. Even though he’s a selfish, unkind, schmuck, he’s still really good in bed. Lust!
4. When hugging her gives you butterflies and kissing her makes you see fireworks. Love!
5. When you dream of wedding bells and organ music surrounded by an orgy of naked fitness models. Love and lust!
6. When you want to introduce her to all your cool friends but not any close relatives. Lust!
7. When you change all your plans and move to New Orleans just to see if he’s “the one” Love!
8. When you keep all of her used undergarments but toss out the poetry and love letters. Lust!
9. When he said, “not interested!” for the fifth time, and you still heard, “Hot intercourse.” Lust!
10. When you work past all the problems and still fantasize about growing old together. Love!
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com. Send emails to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
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