My roommate keeps pushing me to get dressed up when I have an
interview or a date. But, shouldn’t I be liked and accepted for who I
am not for who I make believe I am?
First Take, Albuquerque, NM
Hello First Take,
When first meeting someone you have 30 seconds to win them over. After that, it’s all just frosting or burnt crust. Some books even talk about the first three seconds, i.e., the first handshake, smile or eye
contact and if you’re lucky enough to get a second meeting you have to become even more impressive not less.Thus, if you make it through the first 30 seconds, then the next 10 minutes, then the next interview or date and all the way up to your fifth encounter then, and, only then, can you start to relax. And, yes, honey, being your (best) self is key in any interaction unless you have a split personality and you’re dating yourself.
Lately, my girlfriend has been acting weird. So, the other night when she said she was meeting a friend at the bar, I decided to investigate. When I arrived she was not with that friend, but talking to other friends. After 30 minutes I said hi. She was glad to see me, but now I feel guilty. Was I wrong?
Caught Spying, Provincetown, MA
Dearest Caught Spying,
You have a right to trust your instincts and protect your interests as long as it’s a harmless investigation, like checking up on someone at a bar. So, kill the guilt. Sometimes, sweetie, you have to do what you have to do, which often means act first and apologize later. (Tips are easy to come by when you check out my cartoon.)
Sometimes my boyfriend can’t get excited in bed. Could it be me?
Come On-Get Up, Savannah, GA
Dear Come On,
Yes, pumpkin, sometimes it might be you. So, ask straight out, “How can I be more attractive?”And, then listen quietly before doing everything he says. Sometimes it’s also not you, but it’s things you can change, like the dirty bed sheets, the warm room temperature, your unattractive undergarments or your lazy attitude. Of course, it may also be his work, stress, family or… he’s sleeping around.
I’m sure my best friend is a lesbian, but she doesn’t know it. I have lots of lesbian friends I could introduce her to, but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Help?
Lesbian In DeNile, Billings, MT
Sometimes it’s hard to say, “Follow the yellow dyke road.” Besides, sharing the wonderful aspects of lesbianhood, like never having men controlling her, why not read her:
Trinity’s Strong Suggestions For Knowing If (YPAL) You’re Probably A Lesbian
1. When your wardrobe consists of one simple dress for every 10 flannel shirts, buttoned down oxfords and khaki slacks well, YPAL.
2. If on your desk at work sits a beautiful photograph of your dog or cat, hey YPAL.
3. So you’ve been with the same woman for 33 years, yeah YPAL.
4. Always wanted to be a cop, fireman, pilot or electrician? That can only mean one thing, Butchy!
5. So, you hate shaving your legs and armpits, hate letting your hair grow past your ears and hate how your feet look in pumps, well guess what?
6. So, you cried when Rosie left her talk show, but threw a huge potluck when Ellen (Degeneres) aired her show, YPAL.
7. Owning the DVD’s “Boys Don’t Cry,” “Go Fish” and/or “Kissing Jessica Stein” basically means YPAL.
8. If your CD collection also includes Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge and/or K.D. Lang, well guess again?
9. So, you like sports, camping, fixing cars and playing guitars: hello in there Joe!
10. And, lastly, when your elbow stays in the air while you’re puffing on a cigarette, YPAL. : :
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.
info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307
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800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org