Clubs, Lies And Deep See Fishing

Tell Trinity

Hey Girl,
There’s a guy at the gay clubs whom I think likes me. But, sometimes he says he’s “bi”, sometimes “just curious” and other times he’s “straight.” He kissed me twice in the last year when he was sober. What should I do?
The Daily Report, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Hey Daily Report,
First the bad news, even though he sounds like a fun, straight/bi curious, undecided guy who enjoys your gay company, this really fits more into the “wasting your time” category for The Gay Film Festival than the “true life boyfriend” category. By constantly changing sexualities he probably just wants to be liked, not break your heart, honey. Now the good news! Enjoy him as a friend. Even though catching a straight fish is exciting, a gay fish will stay longer and let you taste its meat.

Hello Trinity,
My very “spiritual” boyfriend keeps pushing me to work less and appreciate life more. What am I supposed to do when I’m not working, shop, chat on the internet or watch TV? I like working. How else am I going to make money?
Work vs. Life, Elizabeth, NJ

Hello Work vs. Life,
You are dead right and dead wrong. In order to be wealthy you do have to work and work hard. I applaud you for that. However, have you heard of inner wealth? Well, baby, maybe it’s time! (My cartoon may show you how.)

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Dearest Trinity,
My friend of three years and I recently became boyfriends, but we’ve only had weird sex, twice. Oh, yeah, he moved, so I never see him and when I do he doesn’t seem interested. Does he still want me?
Dead Desires, Harrisburg, PA

Dearest Dead Desires,
Let me get this right, he moved away, you hardly see him and when you do he never wants to have sex. Not only is he not your boyfriend, but he’s not anything except an old friend you had bad sex with. So, point blank, it’s over, if it even started. Now, pumpkin, go find a new boyfriend who wants to please you not tease you!

Dear Trinity,
My girlfriend is always late. It’s becoming a big problem, not for her as much as for me. Help!
Late Date, San Diego, CA

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Dear Late Date,
Waiting for someone once is awful, but waiting time and time again can make you loony. However, there are alternatives with:

Trinity’s Tough Tips For Dealing With Someone Who’s Always Late
1. Communication: Ask for a 30-minute warning before she’s actually due and/or another 10-minute warning before she actually arrives!
2. Lie: If dinner is 6 p.m., tell him 5:30 p.m. and never be ready before 5:45 p.m.
3. No Excuses: Tell her no excuse is necessary. It’s about communicating her lateness before she’s late, not having good excuses after she’s arrived.
4. Warning: Let him know that if he wants to be late he just needs to call and tell you. He does not need an excuse!
5. Acceptance: Just accept that she will often be late and this is how it will often be. Don’t act all upset and surprised every time!
6. Stay Busy: Always keep busy with things to do while waiting for a typically late person.
7. The Truth: Being late is not a crime, punishment or international offense, it’s just how some people are. Accept it!
8. The Other Foot: Remember, if he’s always late then you can always be late too and never feel bad.
9. Ending the Stress: It’s better for you to call and check in 10 minutes before she’s due than to wait angrily hoping she calls you.
10. Lastly, Attitude: Yes you can make someone feel bad for being late, but after a few times you better accept it with open arms or find someone else to put your arms around! : :

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.

info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com
Tell Trinity, P.O. Box 23861 . Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33307
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