Dearest Trinity,
Sometimes my lover just doesn’t get me. It’s so frustrating. I don’t mean to expect unreasonable things from her, but how can I get my needs met without losing my mind from having to ask for every little thing I need or want? Must I always ask?
Expecting More, Philadelphia, PA

Dearest Expecting More,
Expectation is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language, as well as in the bedroom. It can inspire you or destroy you without ever leaving your mind. Expectation is truly the word disappointment in disguise. So, stop trying to get her to read your mind, follow your lead or live by your rules. Instead, let’s start communicating lovingly and openly about your desires without secretly expecting the outcome to end in your favor. Pumpkin, give in to loves’ uncontrollable grip by giving up on unnecessary expectations. Give it time. Hey, some people take longer to figure you, I mean things out!

Hey Trinity,
I started dating someone with whom I talk a lot on the phone. Sometimes I wait for him to say goodnight first and sometimes he waits for me. Is it better to let him say goodnight first or me first?
Who’s Off First, Providence, RI

Hey Who’s Off First,
According to the book,” The Rules,” “You are important! Your time is important and you must keep your date thinking you are worth chasing after.” He should always be wondering what he can say the next time he talks to you! So, it’s you who must always say goodnight first, why, because you’re always busy. Keep ‘em coming back for more, sweetie! Got it! (Ring-a-ding those bells with my cartoon counsel.)

Dear Trinity,
Don’t you think looks are not as important as what one says, does or feels? Don’t you think looks are secondary?
Insiders View, Sacramento, CA

Dear Insiders View,
Of course, what’s inside is key, but looks are all someone has to judge you by when they first notice you. After a few dates you can let your hair down, a little. So, darling, instead of fighting it, go with it and always try to look (and smell) your best? That’s how the animal kingdom works, at least in my jungle.

Hello Trinity,
I know love is blind, so can you take the blindfold off me and tell me why I shouldn’t move in with my lover after 10 weeks. I can only see the good right now.
Blinded, Chicago, IL

Hello Blinded,
Yes, since love is blind it’s easy to be persuaded into irrational
situations. So, here’s:

Trinity’s Negative Realities For What “You’ll Now Have To Do” Once You Move In With Your Mate
1. You’ll now have very little private time.
2. You’ll now have to start making your schedule fit around theirs.
3. You’ll now have to work twice as hard to keep your place clean since there’s twice the mess.
4. You’ll now have less romantic dates since you don’t have to date, you live together! (Don’t cry just yet, honey!)
5. You’ll now be forced to see each other everyday and every night.
6. You’ll no longer be going on as many romantic trips just to see each other, you see each other everyday now. (Hey, you’ll save money for therapy.)
7. You’ll now have to groom, shower, wash your hair and brush your teeth more often since someone has to see and smell you everyday.
8. You’ll also now have to answer to and be responsible for someone else on a daily basis. (Hey, what’s going on? Is that why there’s an “oy” in Joy?
9. You’ll now get to fight over decor, TV shows, radio stations, houseguests and lighting. (Hey, what happened to my dreams?)
10. Lastly, you’ll now have to deal with someone else’s, self-esteem, self-righteousness and self-destruction. (Sorry, but you asked!) : :

— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally.

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