My ex was into the fetish scene and now two years later I am beginning to find it very interesting. Any advice for first timers?
Baby’s First Straps, Raleigh, NC
Dearest Baby’s First Straps,
For many people the word “fetish” itself is dirty and dangerous. So, I won’t lie and say breath control or public flogging doesn’t make me squirmy. But, I will say uniform and facial hair fetishes do keep me smiling. When it comes to newfound activities, some jump in headfirst and some take their time. Either way, sweetie, keep an eye on your addictive nature and remember to have safe boundaries. Also, fetish accoutrements can be very expensive, so be thrifty at first because they may end up in storage when you’ve moved on to fan dancing or political activism!
For years I’ve met many gay couples that have happy non-monogamous relationships. Now my new partner insists on monogamy. But, I come from a very different world. If I don’t tell him the little, not-so-faithful things I do like internet chatting or talking to guys on the street, then am I still a criminal?
Crimes Of Passion, LA, CA
Hello Crimes Of Passion,
It seems like everyone is doing something wrong. Either you’re looking at someone you shouldn’t, having unsafe types of sex you shouldn’t or mixing voyeurism and relationship in a way that you shouldn’t. While laws and rules are set in stone, they are also, at times, made to be cracked and not just by privileged ones. So, darling, no you’re not a criminal as long as you keep changing the rules. (Put your hand on the book, I mean Bible, and swear to tell the truth like I have in my cartoon!)
I’m a good-looking guy and I don’t like getting drunk, but I have an easier time meeting people if I have a few drinks under my belt. Unfortunately, I often end up drunk. I don’t have a drinking problem as much as I have a problem being sober and friendly.
Two Too Many, Montreal, QC
Dear Two Too Many,
Why can so many gorgeous guys lift their own weight at the gym, but can’t muster up enough courage to start a conversation. Pumpkin, sure have a beer or two, but have a water or soda between drinks so four drinks equal only two with alcohol and you can still meet people without scaring them. In the end start spending more time facing your shyness and fear of rejection and less time getting drunk.
It’s been a few weeks since I stopped dating my girlfriend. I ignore her calls and blocked her emails, but I’m afraid I will still see her out. How do I avoid her and having to talk to her?
Out Of Sight And Mind, Minneapolis, MN
Hey Out Of Sight And Mind,
I know it’s easier to avoid someone than face them, but, honey, it’s unkind, unnecessary and inhumane. There’s a popular word called “communication!” It keeps countries connected, businesses thriving and relationships together, as well as ending one in a mature, kind and responsible way. I’m afraid I can’t support your avoidance. But, if you truly have no mouth, then copy and send this letter below. Before sending, circle as many as are applicable.
I am not communicating with you anymore because:
1. My heart gets too scared when I’m with you.
2. I don’t believe you care about me or us. (circle one or both)
3. What’s the point? We are from different worlds!
4. The timing is no good for us right now!
5. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m in prison doing time.
6. Who do you think you are?
7. You are a loser.
8. I am not interested in you at all!
9. You’re too old, young, stubborn or drunk for me. (circle one or more)
10. Other ___________________________________________
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