I went on vacation expecting to visit old friends, see my brother get married and bake in the sun. I did all that — and watched my partner devour every lobster in three New England states.

I met Elizabeth about five years ago at a mostly gay party. She was a graduate nursing student who looked every inch the straight girl. It took hours along with alcohol for her to confess that she was involved with a woman for the first time in her life.

I’m appalled that I’d never heard of Gad Beck. Not only was he an important figure in LGBT history, he was a hoot. Until his recent death just shy of his 89th birthday, Beck was the last known gay Jewish survivor of the Holocaust.

Some people argue that the best way to handle the ever-present, ever-protesting members of the Westboro Baptist Church is to ignore them.

‘Tis the season of ministerial ravings. The world has heard Pastor Sean Harris urge parents to punch effeminate sons, Pastor Charles Worley advocate putting gays in concentration camps and Pastor Curtis Knapp suggest the government kill gays.

Being the old-fashioned type, I have a newspaper delivered to my door every morning. Being part of modern American society, I rarely have time to read it.

News item: When two Canadian lesbians broke up in 2006 they divided all their assets, but forgot about the 13 tubes of sperm they had stored in a sperm bank. Later one of the women re-partnered and asked to use the leftover sperm, but her ex wanted it destroyed.

I’m Gay Marriage and I’m mad. Those alleged experts over at the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press — and what a stupidly long name that is — conducted a national survey to find out which issues matter most to voters and I’m certain the pollsters were drunk and the respondents were house pets.

I’m not Catholic. Which makes my fascination with the American arm of the Catholic Church a little strange, but it also means I can watch its contortions without fretting over its future.

Have you been paying attention to LGBT news lately? Let’s find out! Choose the right answer to each question.